A PROUD Day for the Mangos

I finally am sitting down to write a post on the blog. The picture above was taken by one of the kiddos, and I really like it.

Yesterday was a big day for our family! As you may know, if you have followed our blog for awhile, our family has really gotten into speech and debate in the last year and a half. Paul even went so far as delaying his high school graduation a year so he could have a second year of debate. We do team policy debate through CCA/CCO (Christian Communicators of America/Ohio) and it is pretty neat. This year the policy is RESOLVED 'to that the US federal government should change its policy for the domestic Agricultural production of food.'

Paul and his partner Caleb have worked REALLY hard at coming up with a great case. They have spent lots of hours getting it together and well evidenced. This is both boys' second year of debate. Yesterday was the club's Round Robin Tournament. All the teams in the club competed against one another to see who would come out on top. Paul and Caleb finished the night 6-0 and won in a toughly argued final match in front of the club. It was videotaped, and I am looking forward to getting to watch it, now that I know who won. I had to leave during the match, as it was too intense for this mama. I don't like raised voices and arguing and this match contained a lot of that, Almost all by the negative team. I did come in for the final speech by Paul to close the match. I was amazed by his eloquence and timing. After being buffeted though most of the match by the more experienced debaters, he took control. He stood straight and tall and started off in strong tone, but with a smile, "Judges if you are looking for good orators, vote for the negative team", and he gestured at his opponents with a wide swing of his arm, and then he continued, "but if you are interested in the facts, you need to vote for the affirmative team". All those in the audience sucked in their collective breaths and said "ooooooh". The negative team sat there and shook their heads in helpless rage as they would not have any more opportunity to respond. He then proceeded to lay out their case one last time and explain exactly why their policy change was needed and what was wrong with the negative team's ideas. The other team sat there the whole time fuming and shaking their heads and glaring. It was a classic moment. It made this Mom heart of mine proud. (If you are interested, we will have a copy of the whole debate on a DVD, but it is rather long- 1.25 hours) This makes all the work worthwhile. They did a much better job than the men we have seen in the presidential debates.

My dear Michelle, has struggled all her life with speech difficulties. She didn't even start talking until she was 4. She has had speech therapy and continues to work hard at her enunciation. In the beginning of the debate season she was told that her speech wasn't good enough to participate. She persevered in taking the classes anyway and by the end of the classes she was allowed to be a full fledged debater. She has continued to put a lot of time in. I have to admit my eyes misted up when she was given the 5th place speaker's award. This was out of like 18 competitors. She was so excited! She said, "I guess they understood me!" It was a big moment for her.

Thomas is the consummate speaker and debater. He and his partner finished fourth in the novice division and he was in third place in the individual speaker awards. He also has put in a lot of time. He is hoping to actually win something this year.

Last year, in all the tournaments, the children did not really win anything. It was a year of intensive learning. They are hoping for better things this year, and yesterday was a great start!

~Mom

Debate vs. Argument

( The Thinker)

I have often thought about the differences between debate and argument. I know someone can make an argument that is logical and precise, but my working definition of the words is that debate is a conversation (it can be passionate) that is about a question or idea that deals strictly with the conversation at hand. Arguments are generally less logical and deteriorate into personal attacks. People end up leaving an argument with their feelings hurt, while they leave a debate having a better understanding of the consequence of their ideas.

(Thomas is joining a debate club this year in order to prepare for his political career, if the thing with the 'beat box' doesn't work out.)

I enjoy debate. It really helps to sharpen my thinking. I went to chiropractic college which was about 80% men. There was a lot of debate. It was good to think about something and then talk about it and hear other's ideas about it, both in agreement and disagreement. It helped me to see the flaws and weaknesses of my thoughts as well as where I was right. It helped me grow in my thinking and ideas. I became more secure and certain in what I believed.

Men and women are different. ( I am generalizing here.) Most men see their ideas as something apart from whom they are. To discus an idea is not personal to them. Their theory is not who they are, it is a toy that is more fun if everyone plays with it and contributes to its make-up. One may even decide that it is no good and throw it away without any grief. Women are different. In general, our ideas are who we are. If you criticize most women's ideas, you are criticizing them personally and they will react emotionally and you will end up in an argument, not a debate. You will hurt their feelings if you try and engage them in debating their ideas. For some it is an insecurity thing, for others it is just the way they are wired. Look at many of our female politicians and the histrionics they engage in when they are disagreed with. You are much more likely to get an emotional response than a logical one from a woman re ideas.

Even if a person chooses a different course of action than a female friend, it can cause stress in the relationship. The thought process is... if you do something different than me then you must think that your way is right, and that means you think I am making a poor choice or doing something wrong. It is an unspoken criticism. Many women function out of the emotional rather than the logical part of their brains. This makes debate challenging and argument almost inescapable.

Men have their own emotional attachments that they personalize without regard to logic. They are called sports or politics. Men get emotionally involved and become 'one' with the team. When OSU wins the National Championship this year, most men in this state will think that they themselves had something to do with it. They are the champions. If the team loses they are depressed, because they lost even though they had nothing to do with any aspect of the game. If you want to debate, don't mention athletic teams, because it will very quickly deteriorate into an argument. Yes, even if you wear a rival jersey it can induce stress in a relationship. Women are befuddled by the lack of male logic here. Why does one care so passionately about something that can in no real way impact your life (unless you are a coach or player for the team)?!!!

I have changed over the years. I think I am more tolerant as I get older. This is probably true of most people. I have changed my mind on a few major ideas in my life. My brain and life is not static. As I learn more, I modify and change my ideas. I am not the person I was (Praise God!) and definitely not the person I hope to be. To continue learning is to continue growing. Run these different ideas through the screen of scripture. Learn from your own experiences and the experiences of others. If someone says something you disagree with, figure out why. Most things are not personal, don't make them so. A person does not have to be a clone to be a good friend! Tolerate and enjoy the differences. You can always learn something from somebody else.

~Mom

I welcome your comments, even if you disagree!